CUTs, like a knife.

I am so poor right now! This is what I get for going on undertime...nothing!!! I think I may have just gotten my basic salary (or less even), without the bonuses, etc. Ayayay. I only have enough to pay my bills; I don't even think whatever little is left will float me for the next two weeks. OMG, this is hysterical. I was aware the downside of going on undertime is the salary deduction, but this is prolly my biggest CUT, literally & financially, almost 2k! Methinks so, I'll still have to get my payslip later. Oh well. It was either I go on undertime and save my sanity, or be "rich" and lose my mind.

But this past pay period, I only went on CUT for one (full) day. They're not offering undertimes as frequently as before; AUT isn't even offered anymore! Yeah, kinda looking forward to next payday because I'll prolly have my full bonus also -- the last time I got this was way back when I was still in the morning shift. I don't know what I'm doing, but my stats were pretty good this October.

As I've said, I may be financially rewarded this time around, but it was absolutely exhausting. I'm not used to working a full work week anymore! And it was nice to see Tanji again. He traded shifts with Jen so we were able to make kwento. See, if it wasn't hanging around with him for a bit, I wouldn't be able to relax a bit, because when they left already I was back to hostile operator mode. Haha.

And my getting the barest of my wages doesn't even stop me from shopping! Hey, I do need this after all. I've had this new PC for almost a year now but it was only the other day when I plugged in my flatbed scanner and find out it is not compatible with Windows XP!!! Que horror! It says right there on their website when I downloaded the driver. It's interesting because now AOC only specializes in monitors, at least that's all the product I saw there.

I've been scouting for a new printer anyway because mine is older than the scanner, and it's wonky because the ink gets stuck in the heads from non-use. Meaning, if I use it again I have to have it cleaned or repaired first, and the last time I had it done it cost as much as a new printer. So might as well get a new printer.

I almost had an HP printer, it was the promo with new subscriptions to Smart Bro. But that was a crappy deal because they prolly only had limited printers to give and a gazillion new subscribers.

Anyway, so I'm doing my own research and I know I wanted a printer with individual ink cartridges, so it would be cheaper to replace them and more efficient, too. And that's what the new Epson printers come equipped with. I was leaning towards the Epson Stylus T10, which is just a basic printer. In hindsight, I'm glad I was able to check my scanner before making any purchases, because now I needed a new scanner, too! And just a few clicks away I see the Epson Stylus TX100, which is an all-in-one printer, scanner and copier! More importantly, it doesn't cost an arm and a leg! (Only two weeks' salary! LOL!)

I just purchased it yesterday at Octagon Computer Superstore. Sometimes I'm glad I'm mildly OCD. I was planning to buy it at Asianic, but I looked at the other shops first to check if they had it in stock, and I see it costs P200 less in Octagon. Not too much of a bargain, but still. Plus the clerk was overly eager to help me, so that was nice. When I went to the other shop, they looked at me as if I couldn't afford it! Their loss, haha.

So now I want to go print all the stuff I want to print, but I'm on a tight budget right now so better keep a check on myself. But OMG the copier! Who needs their personal photocopying machine?!? I did a test and it was way better than the piso photocopies you get anywhere. That was where I was pretty impressed with my new gadget, hehe. Luv it!

Note this purchase was necessary. What I really want to get is a digital camera as a present to myself (again). I don't remember getting me a present on me birthday.... did I? Or did I conveniently forget? Anyway, I'm leaning towards a Casio Exifilm EX-77, because uh, that's the one I saw at the mall. It's almost within my budget, too (the ones I really like are in the 10k range). Plus it's in this dude's best camera list, and that's a good review, too. But I'll still have to check if the other cameras are available here and do more research and comparisons.

Resignation FAIL.

Last Wednesday I attempted to submit my resignation for the 4th time, and for the 4th time I've failed yet again. Miserably.

Why do my supervisors always deter me from leaving?!? It's not as if I'm one of the top operators (at least not anymore). More likely because it's part of their job. But how come the other people who just left recently were able to? Did they discourage them as well? Or is it because I gave a "crappy" reason for leaving? I said, wala lang, I'm just tired. As far as I know the others left because they had other job offers.

Isn't my sanity important???

The bottom line is I feel absolutely BOBO already. As in. Do you know I had to use Thesaurus.com and Dictionary.com just now because I couldn't think of the word I wanted to use? Before I could work on my websites all day without looking at any of my references, but now I can't even remember simple scripts or tags.

Use it or lose it.

And it's definitely official: I've sold out. The major factor why I'm extending my employment until the end of the year is the money. If I leave now when there's still a couple of months left, I'll get a huge deduction in my tax next year. I know how big a chunk they get because I've experienced it already. That was the main point my sup was talking to me about. If I was able to extend my stay for a full year (yep, I initially attempted to leave a full year ago), then what's two more months? And as far as she knows, if I leave on December, I wouldn't have to wait for my back pay, 13th month pay, etc., since they'll release it immediately. Accounting would prefer to close all its books at the end of the year, right?

So there ya go. I'm a whore! Pero ayoko ayoko AYOKO na talaga. I'm having mini-tantrums just thinking I'll have to work for two more months! Ugh. I was already in that mindset of going on vacation by November -- in fact, I've even crossed out my calendar as a countdown... then it's for nothing.

Basta by December I'll be out of there. I don't think I'll even finish the month, as soon as the 13th month pay is released... buh-bye.

Eight more weeks. I better start another countdown.

My words are tasty.

I told myself I wouldn't go on CUT this week because I had so many CUTs last week, plus my AUT for Wednesday is approved. But there really wasn't a lot of calls last night -- in fact when I arrived at the floor, only 3-4 agents were logged in!! Even Kaye had gone on CUT.

As expected, the minute I logged in, 5 or 6 slots are offered. So tempting! I was only able to resist at first, but after lunch I gave in. I'm so undisciplined. And will be so poor!!! Ang laki na ng kaltas sa suweldo ko, hahahaha.

Besides, I'd finished the book I was reading, so I was pretty bored already. (Uh, weren't we supposed to take calls?) And the magazine I had didn't have a lot of interesting articles.

...

The book I finished was Anderson Cooper's Dispatches from the Edge. I had just bought it on my last Book Sale run... and it cost only P20! (The other book I got was only P10, Jonathan Franzen's The Discomfort Zone, which is also a memoir.)

I was aware his brother committed suicide, I may have seen that on Oprah, but I wasn't aware his mother is Gloria Vanderbilt. What really struck me was that he went to Somalia on his own he was 25 years old to make his own news footage, just so he could work as a correspondent. If that's not initiative and bravery, I don't know what is. (I left the book at the locker, so I can't check right now...and it's killing me. I want to quote properly.)

It was a pretty quick read, finished it in two days in between calls. (I could've read it in a couple of hours straight if I was a bum.) I read some of the reviews on Amazon and they said it wasn't "personal" or insightful enough. But it is -- it's through his work and coverage of the wars, the tsunami & the hurricanes that he realizes his feelings on the loss of his brother, and his father's efforts to show the importance of roots and family. My own complaint is it was short -- it ended 2005 with his reporting on Hurricane Katrina (incidentally, there's a good photo of the hurricane on the Wikipedia.) I'm kinda hoping he'll write another one; he's an engaging writer and it is interesting to know a journalist's viewpoint.

No rest for the wicked.

Since I started working the night shift, I've been averaging about 3-4 hours sleep. Mary Anne says that's alright, but I still feel tired. I want my full 8 hours. As a matter of fact, one time I went to bed at 10 in the morning... and slept my way through until 4 a.m. the following day. I want those days again when I can sleep all day. Yeah, I can finally admit now I like sleeping :-/

...

Does it make us illegally employed if we still haven't signed new contracts? Our contracts ended September 30, 2008. My goody-goody side wants to report this to the authorities. Hah. As if.

...

It seems I'm not the only one wanting to leave the company. I just learned a couple others are planning to leave, too, but I'm unsure if it's already definite and they've submitted their resignation letters already.

...

When I do leave, I want to take the photography workshop at FPPF. I've been wanting to take a class since Goddess knows when (nasa Pasay pa yata kami nakatira). Even Charmaine has taken the class way ahead of me, I think she's taken the advance workshop already.

But of course, I still have to take my SLR for repair and/or cleaning. Haaaayyyy.

There's just this need for me to be creative right now. Now I know I am truly dead if I have no avenues for expression or creativity.

To CUT or not to CUT.

That was the question I was asking myself last night. There wasn't a lot of calls, and they offered it pretty early for my shift: five slots until 0600. And it was only around 9:00 p.m.; I had only logged in for an hour!

The dilemma was with the leave accrual. We earn a leave credit if we're at work for four hours. I'm thinking since I have work on Wednesday nights, no problem, I'll get the credit. But then they said the credit was only for last night, and after 12 midnight, you weren't getting any credits anymore. Huh? But it was still September 30 last night, October 1 -- the holiday -- was still on midnight. (Duh.) But that was how it was. How strange....

Anyway, I've come to a point where I don't care anymore. I just want to go home. I don't want to work anymore. So I went on CUT 0911.

Yeah, it was impractical of me to do that. I could've waited several more hours and earned a leave credit. Most likely another CUT would've been offered (but then again, maybe not.) Plus my salary is going to be deducted with all the undertime I took this pay period.

I truly don't want to continue working there anymore. I'm so sick of it. The only thing keeping me there is the regular income.

Besides, I've come to a decision to leave at the end of this month. It's been a full year since I first attempted to resign, might as well try again. I'm just tired.

(Another thing, our contract ended September 30, 2008, and there hasn't been any renewal yet. So technically they could do anything to us. The 'joke' is we're like floating employees right now. Knowing how unfair our company can be, who knows what could happen... )

...

Another two months since my last post! It's because of this damn job. I'm really stressed out, and even though I want to write, I still get lazy about it. (Then again, if I did, I would write the same thing over & over again.)

See, I think I'm losing my ability to express myself because I'm depressed again. Poor me.

I need a break.

Wasted time.

I completely wasted time by going to the office today. Supposedly I was on AUT only up to 0830, but when on the agent check-in I was on AUT from my entire shift!!! Grrrr.... Buti na lang Bates was the supervisor on duty. He said he'll just work it our with traffic. Yay! To think I was there rather early. I left before 6am thinking there'd be traffic... but I was at the office by 7am. Nyeh. So I just smoked. First with Mai since it was her break. Then with Bates because he was getting something to eat.

I have to include this because it was too funny. While they were getting food, I happened to see this product on the toiletries shelf at Mini Stop. It was next to the condoms so it intrigued me. The label said "Fire", and the other one was "Ice." I don't know exactly what the product description is, maybe a sexual aid or something. Probably like a lubricant because according to the package you apply it to the condom so it will give this "minty sensation" and "for your oral pleasure." Oh-kay. Joby was looking at the "Ice" packet and reading it out loud, so that was hysterical. :-p Hey, I just realized I should've taken a pic!!! Oh well. I'm sure it'll still be there tomorrow... ;-)

So basically I went to the office today to be pa-cute. Eng?? But I was still able to do a few errands that I was supposed to have done yesterday.

Later I definitely have work, but only until 4am. Yay! And of course, the new AUT sked is available. This time I only filed for AUT on Friday and Saturday...baka wala na akong sweldohin!

More weekend for me.

Yay, I'm having a "long" weekend again! It feels so good not to be literally chained to a desk (by the cord of our headsets) and not to deal with questions from dumb callers. I'm thinking if I should really apply for the same AUT sked next week, because if I do this every week, it would be FIVE days AUT! That's equal to 45 hours!!! OMG, that would definitely be a huge deduction from my salary. And I haven't added the CUT (went on CUT yesterday, too). Dilemmas...

Which reminds me: my AUT tomorrow is only from 0000-0830, so I better call in and have get on the CUT list and be prioritized so I won't need to go to work anymore, hehe. But if it doesn't work out and I'm already at the office, I can just go see Mary Anne later on.

I was chatting with her yesterday morning, and she was surprised I was home early. So we were on Skype until around 11am. I decide to take a nap... but when I wake up, it's already 4am. Okay. That's like straight 16 hours of sleep. And I don't remember having dreams. And I wasn't even lying straight in my bed because I had my bag and other stuff dumped on it. Evidently, even if I worked for 1 3/4 days, I'm still exhausted.

I'm still waiting for Willa to update me re: the cool job her sister has. I'm starting to daydream already! But better not count my chickens until they've hatched. Just seems like a good opportunity.

Time to leave again.

First day of my work week, and what did I remember to do first? Check if the AUT schedule is already available for this week, and apply! Again, Traffic gave the odd skeds...but that won't faze me from applying my AUT! And again, I applied for AUTs on Thursday, Friday and Saturday.

My Fates are extra nice to me lately...because it got approved again!!! First, it was only for half-days on for all three days. Paul also said to rewrite the form because of the erasures Traffic made, but not to worry because it was also approved.

Later, Paul talks to me again and gives me better news: my AUTs were "upgraded"!!! Wo-hoo!!! Same as last week, two full days AUT and half-day on Satuday. OMG OMG OMG, I am just so happy I'm going to get more rest again. Is it obvious I don't want to continue working this job anymore?

I also got my payslip today, it already indicated my first wave of 'serious' CUTs and AUTs. I went on undertime for 20 hours the first half of last month! But my salary cut wasn't too serious. So, 20 hours undertime is still 'bearable'. I guess that would be my benchmark for my undertime: 20-24 hours max every pay period. More than that and obviously I'll get a bigger cut from my salary, too. I'll also have to learn to be a bit frugal (stop checking eBay!). Kaye had more undertime than I did, but her salary was just a few hundred pesos less than mine.

Anyway, I'm just glad tomorrow's my last full day for the week...again!!! (Unless I avail of CUT.) If they'd only create part-time positions for our jobs....

Next week, I'd definitely apply for the same AUT again ;-)

From rest to motion.

This was a pretty good week. First off, I only spent 2.5 days at the office. Yay! Even if it's already over, I am/was pretty excited about it. Normally, when I file for AUT it does not get approved for the whole day, so I'd play safe and just file for a half-day. Then lately Traffic issued odd schedules for the under time: it'd start and end on the half-hour, and that's especially awkward for the 12-9 ppl. Anyway, since I didn't want to use my leave credits and so badly wanted to take a break, I still filed for 0000-0830 AUT and would just wait and see if it would get approved or not. Either way, I tried.

So. Last week, while I was still logged in, Joby puts me on POS busy. At first, I thought, uh-oh, what did I do, did I do something bad? Then he says that Traffic was asking if it was alright to change my AUT to 0000-0900...the entire shift! Duh?!? Tinatanong pa ba 'yun?!? Who'd in their right mind would decline?? Of course, I accepted!!! Yay! And I applied for TWO days, too!

When I checked the approved form, I definitely had two full days off AUT... and a half. My Saturday AUT was only approved from 0000-0500. But that's still a good thing. Especially since upon getting off that sked it was my off already. Mini-vacay!

I did get a lot of rest this week. I was alternating between working (ie, playing games) on this here PC, and when I'd get tired, I'd get some hours sleep. Then the cycle begins again. Plus of course got to play with my cats, too.

I'm thinking I should just apply for AUT every week. Because I'm able to get more rest, I wasn't as stressed like before. (It also helps that we didn't have such high volume of calls, too.) But I should also "ration" my undertimes so I wouldn't get a big cut from my paycheck.

So this weekend, on my actual days off, I got around to cleaning/organizing my room yet again. Now I was able to arrange some of my stuff more neatly, so at least there's a semblance of order to my room. (I could still definitely use more storage space.) Then I was also able to organize some of my files on here PC -- I still haven't gotten around to completely integrating my files from my old PC.

I'm feeling really productive, like for once I finally accomplished something on my day off, and for someone with OCD, that really is an achievement. ;-)

...

I met up with my college best friend earlier today. Willa emailed me out of the blue and said why don't we meet up because it turns out she still lives in the same city...and in a neighboring village to boot.

Some things never change! I was a bit early so I was able to check the bookstores first, and Willa was late, haha. We had a very leisurely lunch at Italianni's -- and by leisurely, I mean I haven't taken a lunch that took as long as it did today: it was past two when we left!! Of course, we were talking and catching up the whole time, and you also have to factor in the huge servings they have. Memories of high school: I felt it was a "magic plate" because no matter how many bites I took, it seemed as I still hadn't made any progress on my pasta!

Afterwards, we went to Starbucks and more kwento. This is what I truly like when you see old friends again; it's as if there wasn't such a huge amount of time since we last saw each other and we just pick up where we left off. Awwwwwww.

We got around to talking how frustrating my job is (of course), how even if she's married all this time she still adjusts to her marriage (I didn't know that), how her kids are (my inaanak is 11 years old already!), how she's studying again to get a teaching license... She also wants to get a master's degree in Art Education, and I want to do that -- but before I can do that, I have to get my B.A. first! OMG, my being an undergrad is not 'cute' anymore. She also offered to help me out since she's just a stay-at-home mom. (And I might take her up on her offer since she was my classmate after all. And she's been through what I'm still experiencing -- also took her some quite before she finished her "T"...but not as long as I am! Haha, am I setting a record here?!?)

Anyway, we just spent the afternoon catching up and promised we should see each other more often. Yay!

(Willa also brought up a very interesting career opportunity. If it's okay for me to send in my resume, I'm really going for it. Here's hoping.)

Love makes the world go 'round./Money is the root of all evil.

A week since my last post? Not good.

Anyway, I did meet up with my girls...and our newest baby girl! Wow, she looks more like Kristine than Juan, especially her eyes! Ang lakas talaga ng dugo ng Pinoy ah, kahit si Gordon, kamukhang-kamukha ni Jona :-D For a change, I was the tardy one -- I'm not used to commuting in the daytime anymore so I underestimated the travel time -- so by the time I got to Megamall they had already scouted the area for possible dinner locations (Sukothai was long gone). They really couldn't find any suitable restos since it was so noisy and most of the restos we saw had hard benches, and another of our requirements was a couch. Myra was with Kaye at Toy Kingdom so we went there to meet up, and then Kris and Juan decided to browse, too. So we ended up sitting by the benches near the skating rink and decided we'll just go to the Podium.

Another trademark of the group: we can't make a decision right away. Will we walk or take a cab? As usual, Charmaine was extra bitchy saying a cab will agree to take us but it will be a short ride. Is it far to walk? Medyo. Grrr. Then again, distance is relative. In the end, we just decide to walk. At least Kristine was able to see St. Francis Square. She's only been back a handful of times since she moved to Spain, but it amazes her that every time she's here there are more malls...and yet everyone is just the same old, plain, boring mall. I asked her had she gone to Mall of Asia? She said yes and of course there was nothing new about it, just another big mall. (Now I just realize I forgot to tell her the architectural brouhaha MOA had before opening. And also about Trinoma. Sheesh, this is an all mall country and no public libraries!!!)

After twisting and turning we finally get to the Podium. Mary Anne and Charmaine again looked ahead, and decided we'd go to the UCC Vienna Cafe. It was the first time for everyone to dine there; my second since I'd been to the UCC Park Cafe at Glorietta with Melody. Again, took some time ordering and the food to arrive and when it did, as usual, everyone was busy eating. It was around 8pm so everyone was hungry and tired.

Played catch up. Of course, it was surprising but at the same time no surprise (eng?) that I'm still not finished with my "T". Kris generously offered to help me -- oh yeah, now it hits me again, I was going to ask her about the conservation techniques at her museum...duh?!? Same old stories about not finding any suitable boys men to date. Myra will be going to the US later this year to take the boarding exams there, so we might meet up again before she leaves.

Claudia is such a doll! She really looks more like Kris! You don't even have to ask who's her mom because you can see the resemblance. Juan says he really likes how Claudia has Kristine's eyes...singkit rin kasi :-) Claudia is the mestiza version of Kris. It was really amusing when Claudia was crying and Mary Anne would talk to her...and Claudia would stop bawling and just look at Mary Anne; she was mesmerized. Then she'd start smiling. Awwww. (I better ask the girls for copies of the pix, I want to post it to our groups.)

Then it was time to leave. Kris said she'd be back in two years...hopefully. OR we can go visit her there. How I wish!!! (But wishes can come true, right?) Besos all around and that was it.

The rest of us stayed at Starbucks until My's and Mary Anne's sundo came. Since I was hitching with Mary Anne I had to stay, too. We got to talking about that unbelievably inarticulate contestant on Bb. Pilipinas. I only saw a clip on YouTube but it still irritated the hell out of me. To top it all off, she's a MassComm student?!? WTF?!? If I was one of her professors, I'd automatically fail her. And if she was one of my friends...langya, ikahihiya ko siya! Itatakwil kita ano. Nakakahiya talaga. Eh ano ngayon kung maganda ka nga, wala naman palang laman yang utak mo? Oo sige, pressure kung pressure kung sasagot ka man lang ng Q&A in a bikini in front of all those people. Pero iha, naintindihan mo ba yung tanong? Reminds me of that National Bookstore commercial extolling you to also enrich your mind. Hey, she could be the poster girl for that! Nyeh!

OMG, I told myself I wouldn't make my commentary on that incident because I don't want to waste space & energy...but look who's the hypocrite now. Haha. The point I'm getting at was Mary Anne and Charmaine got curious and tried watching it, but the connection was choppy and could only see the first half. Still, watching half of it and you'd still get an idea of what happened.

All in all, it was a satisfactory reunion. Too bad Kristina couldn't make it. Kris thought there were more Xmas dinner photos aside from the one I sent last time...then realized that was it, just me and Mary Anne and one photo. I wonder when we will all be together again -- this time with hubbies & babies & hopefully boyfriends for the rest.

...

We got our salary appraisals this week. Kinda not fair that it's based on the employee's performance when some of us know for a fact the company reports it automatically gives a 10% increase. Hmmm.

So now it's money that's keeping me from leaving? I've sold out! How sad. I'm not sure if it's pathetic or not, but lately I'm spending a lot on eBay (mostly CDs since I'm trying to convert my cassettes to CDs) and on kikay stuff like bags and shoes.

I wasn't too much of a bag person, but now I am, especially now there are good local hand bag makers, like Follow Your Heart in Glorietta and Trinoma. I have this green faux snakeskin bag, in a similar shape to a LV Speedy, which I really like -- except it's a handbag so I have to be "ladylike" when I use it. I'm really more used to just slinging my bag over my shoulder, but then I just got this new bag on eBay. I thought it was a big one, but it's just "regular" sized. I'm partial to oversized bags now. But I still like it since it has chains and silver hardware and all. I haven't used it yet because I couldn't fit my kikay kit in there. No, my kikay kit doesn't contain all makeup; it's my combination kikay-and-toiletries kit, my toothbrush is also in there and my ever present alcohol (isopropyl alcohol instead of hand sanitizer, not a mini bottle of alcohol...although that wouldn't be a bad idea, too).

Anyway, what I'm getting at is that the more money I have, the more I'm bound to spend it or shop. I do save a bit, though (haven't I just purchased my new beloved PC from my hard-earned savings?). Plus now I'm able to buy more books...at BookSale! Yay! Right now I'm seriously thinking of getting some Miami Ink shirts on eBay, which I wouldn't get here otherwise, and a made-to-order bag over a local online shop. And some booties, too. Haaayyyy.

I'm getting used to this income level, so if I do resign and start at another job and offered a lower basic salary, I'll have to readjust. Then again, I really shouldn't worry about that too much, right? By then, I'd have all the bags and shoes I'd want (methinks).

(If Mary Anne reads this post, she'd go: stop buying shoes! Buy something for your computer instead! I'm sure she won't say stop buying bags, because she's also into big bags.)

The earliest CUT.

Last Saturday morning, I went on CUT at 1.55am. Tee-hee, that was a first. Normally, I avail of the CUT around 6am onwards -- if it's still available. I already asked a favor from Ferdy the previous day to prioritize me on the list... et voila! I was number 2 for our shift :-D It was quite fun, like I had my day-off earlier.

I was able to talk to Bates and he says he didn't push through with my leave anymore because of what was happening on our floor. *Ahem* Oh boy. I can sum it up like this: operators are human beings, too. But he says I can still go on leave if I want to... and of course I want to!!! (Obviously, it would be soooo much better if I just leave.)

Anyway, I got home around 4am. The commute wasn't that bad or "scary." First off, there are a lot of call centers in the Buendia area, so that stretch from Makati Ave. to Pasong Tamo was quite alive. In Baclaran, it wasn't like before when it was completely deserted. Now there's a night market so again, there was a lot of people. I just didn't nod off to sleep, for safety reasons, of course.

...

This was my Project Runway Finale weekend. I had seen the first half of the current season some weeks ago, and I just forgot to watch the new episodes every week... until I started reading on online magazines that Christian won. Oopsies, spoiler. This is prolly the best season so far because the designers were really talented. I found it hard to chose among the final three who would win (if I didn't know who won already). Even if Chris was able to show his collection, I think he'd have a chance. Didn't Alexander McQueen or some other avant-garde designer use hair in his clothing, too?

Anyway, I can't wait for PR Season 5! Plus I heard there's going to be a local version.... hmmmm....

...

I found this flash game on one of the game blogs I read: The Asylum: Psychiatric Clinic for Abused Cuddly Toys. All I can say is WOW, this is a great game. I've managed to cure all the patients in around eight hours (not straight ha, I took breaks naman). Even though you're the doctor, you can't help empathizing with the toys, especially when you've reached a breakthrough and figured out what their problems are. Awwww.

I wish resolving my life's problems were as easy, too!

Oopsies & ouchies.

I was supposed to be on sick leave this week, but I dunno what happened, either my sup forgot to update me or it wasn't approved. I'm thinking it's the latter because my name is there on the log-in sheet, so....

This is really depressing me. As usual, hindsight is 20/20, maybe I shouldn't have revoked my resignation. I don't think I can last until April (pattern here, takes me two months before I want to leave again). Haaayyyy. Plus the callers today were unbelievably idiotic. Grrrr. I know I shouldn't say that because they're our customers, but come on, some of the things they ask us to do are so simple, it's insulting. Like dialing toll-free numbers?!? *rolls eyes* Ouch. I could go on & on, but I'll save my ranting for another day ;-)

My head really hurts today. Oh, the idiocy of it all!

PS. On a lighter note, Blogger now comes in Filipino. Nakakaaliw lang. Minsan kasi ang lalim ng pagsalin nila: View = Pagtanaw. Logout = Lumabas. Tags = Etiketa. Help Resources = Mga Gamit-yaman ukol sa Tulong. Teka, mali ata itong Moderate Comments, Mga Katamtamang Puna daw. Eng?? Sablay ata.

Kahit papaano magaling pa rin, sino kaya nag-translate para sa kanila? Pero parang hindi naman talaga Filipino eh, mas Taglish pa nga eh, haha.

Will you make up your mind?!? Your brain cells are dying already!!!

It was supposedly my last day of work last February 29. I had submitted my resignation for the third time... and yet, I am still working at a job that I have clearly no passion for.

It was kinda fun at the beginning because it was new, I had new friends, new crushies... But now the only motivation for me to get out of bed is the salary and the money (and that I don't want to disappoint my supervisor by having bad KPIs). It's pointless. Sure, everyone needs an income, but it's material and I'm sure I can get another job that I'll be more excited about. I'm also sure I'll get a drastic pay cut if I can change jobs, but I'm really tired working here.

I never imagined myself working at a call center anyway. Pero iba na rin talaga pag nangailangan. My goal was only to work for a year max, like I'll be making it my jumping point in getting back to the "real world." Now I've been here two years!! That's more than enough already.

Besides, I'm really worried about my sanity. There's no growth in this type of job, especially intellectually, and I'm the type who wants to be challenged intellectually and creatively. I've read somewhere that when you go on holiday and just lay around the beach all day, your brain cells actually die from being unused. That's exactly how I feel. (To be blunt about it: nabo-bobo na ako dito.)

Haaayyyy. But why on earth do I keep rescinding my resignation? The first time was to give Bates's suggestion a chance. He's been a really good supervisor since the beginning and I owe a lot to him. That's why I was transferred to the graveyard shift, which is quite okay since my friends are here and I get along better with the night ppl. The second time, there were more people who were aware I wanted to leave and sort of convinced me not to go.

Now I was actually more sure I could finally leave already. I was already in that mindset that come March I'll be on permanent vacation already...yay! But then I overheard my colleagues talking about how we'd be getting salary appraisals and allowance increases again... and I completely forgot to take that into consideration. Uh-oh, more money. It also didn't help that one of them suddenly blurted it out to everyone on the floor, so then everyone knew. I only told Kaye I'd submitted my letter already, and I was planning to tell the rest during my last week. So now I had the weekend to mull over my resignation yet again. That was why I didn't want to tell anyone in the first place! I don't want anyone or any more time to change my mind, but yet I did and it sickens me.

I'm good now because I'm at home in my room in front of my beloved PC, but later when the alarm goes off and I have to go to work... ugh, it absolutely nauseates me. I really go on auto-pilot nowadays when I have to work. I have to because I have to. :-( But isn't it obvious I've no anything for this job anymore. I don't hate it, because hate is an emotion, and if I say I hate it it means I still feel something, but I don't anymore. Like I had a lobotomy. (And please don't let me start on those stupid callers. Ugh. If common sense was actually common, then everyone should have it. But apparently not everyone even has plain sense. *rolls eyes*)

So. What's the battle plan? I'm pretty sure I'll hand in another letter within the next couple of months (that's the pattern), but if I absolutely cannot take it any longer I might hand it in earlier, salary increase or not.

I.DONT.WANT.TO.WORK.HERE.ANY.LONGER.

Not a bad day.

Today wasn't such a bad day. Kaye was on AUT so I hung out with the boys, and surprisingly I wasn't too much of a hostile operator, haha. I guess it helped that the boys were pretty laid-back and didn't let the stoopid calls affect them much, I dunno. But I know I didn't go home with a headache today. They were pretty funny making jokes and telling stories and stuff...so that was funny when we weren't taking calls. I kinda wish there were more days like this, I'd really reconsider my permanent leave (oh really now?!?).

Nah, I'd made up my mind.

Oversleeping is one of my symptoms for stress.

I got CUT for the past couple of days because, hey, I don't get CUT often, might as well take advantage of it. (Besides, I applied for AUT last Monday but as usual, it was denied. Might as well take the next best thing.)

It's always refreshing to leave work ahead of your official log-off time and come home early. I was planning on doing a few chores before working (playing?) on the computer but I was just exhausted I literally fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow. And that's quite unusual for me considering I have a hard time falling asleep. It was even more odd because yesterday I wasn't able to do anything at all -- I just slept! I slept from the moment I got into bed around 9 a.m. and I woke up 12 hours later. But I still felt tired and I really did not want to get up and go to work.

Honestly, work is stressing me out lately. Sure, it's an easy job (i.e., easy money) but it's not worth it anymore. I don't like dealing with people who treat you like a servant and blame you for what they did wrong. Hay naku talaga.

More next time, if you knew me I'll go on and on about this.

BTW, Heath Ledger's death is really tragic, and to learn it was from an accidental overdose of prescription drugs is even more shocking. My doctor won't even allow me a prescription...for even half a pill! (But she's my friend alright, she knows me well enough to foresee I might abuse it when I'm really stressed out.)