Srsly?

I am still very much confused about it. It does feel like the worst birthday ever. It's already given I am still struggling with my own problems and the upkeep of the house, then to have it aggravated by the habagat and disrespectful neighbors.

I am fully and painfully aware this sounds extremely bitchy, but to have your friends forget it? You really have to be kidding me. Did they really forget or is there some other reason? I don't know. I don't want to dwell about it, but it is just disappointing. I felt so itsa-pwera. I couldn't help thinking there was a conspiracy because I could see on my feed and ticker (yep, I'm referring to the FB birthday) that all of them went online at some point during the day -- even the ones who do not check their accounts regularly. So what gives? Sure, I removed my birth date from public viewing, because it does feel the people that post on your wall only do so because it's right there on the calendar, so-and-so's birthday today! I don't expect that from people whom I am not close to or whatever, since I don't know when their birthdays are either unless I also see it on the calendar. But it's different when it's your inner circle, right? I know I don't need to look at a calendar to remember when their birthdays are. I just know it. Really, is it too much to ask for, or am I simply being bitchy? Yeah, some of them did greet me (yes, I took in the time difference) but by that point I had given up already. Is it really too much of me to ask that your closest friends be at least among the first ones to greet you? Or again and again, am I just being a bitch?

I just felt absolutely lonesome that day. I tried to have a happy mindset, but given the circumstances, it was very difficult.

But who cares, right? It's just me, anyway.

I'm not even going to the relatives who always remember greeting my cousin, but don't greet me. I'm like, how sweet, they remember her birthday all the time but not mine. Um, we share the same birthday? It's just she resides in London and have two adorable twin girls. And, well, I'm just me.

Wow, I really am a bitch. Very drama queen.

I also tried to get birthday tweets from Del Piero and Ewan McGregor. I was hoping, but knew the chances were slim. So, tough luck.

I can't wait for next year. I'm getting an inkling it won't be worse, but it will be horrible. Horrible!! *rolls eyes*

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Reading that back again, yep, I do have issues.

Others also sent me e-cards or PMs, and that I know is how they prefer to communicate, but they remembered.

I. AM. PATHETIC. AND. SAD.

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I am still indifferent if I want to publish my birth date or not. Just to get birthday greetings?? And have my wall spammed again??? Then again, at least perhaps maybe even le boylet would greet me. Babaw ko talaga!!! Kainis. He did go online and I was thinking if I should do it right away, if it'll make it on time and have my name appear on his calendar. HAY NAKU. Nah, I only seriously considered it but couldn't actually do it. It felt so KSP to me. HA HA HA.

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It just felt absolutely weird to have your birthday "forgotten." It was as if you do not matter and you do not exist.