Escape.

It is remarkably eerie how most of the books I have been reading lately reflect my current state of mind, or where I wish to be, or how I want to feel. Then certain keywords pop out and I can't help think if my Fates are teasing me yet again. It's like little windows being opened, a bit of sunshine peeks in and gives me a ray of hope. (Naks, drama.) If only.

...

I should revive my habit of stamping books after I've read them. A friend made this personalized rubber stamp  as a gift years ago and naturally I used it to stamp stuff with my name. Mine, mine, mine. I specifically used it on the front or title page of the books I owned.

Actually this stamping business started with my dad. He had a stamp with his full name and he used it on his books also. He used various other stamps at the office, too, and we loved playing with those. Eventually he got our own stamp made, too. (So yeah, that's a precious memento now.)

At first, I'd stamp my books as soon as I got them. Then it just happened I started stamping them after I read the book. I was acquiring more books and was starting to get confused as to which ones I've read already. So if I see a book already has my name on the flyleaf or front pages, I'd know I'd already read it. It would be my read indicator.

I don't remember when I dropped the habit, though.

I'm still getting a lot of books (Book Sale junkie here). It's gotten to the point that even when I'm hungry and I know I should buy groceries, but I happen to see some books I like, I'd buy books instead. I always think: at least I'm feeding my mind. Next to the bed, books are the dominant objects you'd see in my room. I remember some of my cousins' reactions when they first saw my room. They were stunned at how many books I had, like they couldn't believe one person could own -- and READ --all those books.

The book shelves have long run out of space, because, duh, in the first place they didn't built enough. So now I've bagged and stacked them on the floor. There was a time when I hadn't gotten around to organizing the latest additions that these were stacked on the bed and I was sleeping next to them.

So, because I cannot see my library at a glance, I do forget which titles I already have, or which ones I've read. (My OCD has been dying to organize my books for the longest time, but it will have to wait.) And it is confounded by the fact I stopped stamping my read books.

I've recently finished Jane Hamilton's The Book of Ruth. I'm aware she also wrote A Map of the World, that it was a critically acclaimed novel (aside from being on the Oprah Book Club), and I knew I had a copy of it somewhere. Luckily I found my copy right away (it was in the middle bag of the 7th stack) so I started reading.

Somehow my brain started raising signs that this reads familiar already. Have I actually read this before? Isn't this one of my rainy-day books? (It's when I get a book but don't feel like reading it right away, so I save it for a rainy day.) Sure enough, I flipped through the pages and see some pages have already been highlighted. That's another habit I have: I highlight the passages I like with a dermatograph. Not with a highlighter because it's too fluorescent and it hurts my eyes, not with a pencil anymore because it fades after some time. That's actually another clue that I've finished reading something, the highlights, but it's not too reliable since sometimes I haven't marked anything.

It would simply be more convenient if I just start stamping my books again, no?